Tick Tick Tick Debrief
by BearSent176
Summary: The first in a series of tales based on Unheard Flipper's tale: 'The Truth About Kim and Ron'. He's got how they met and ended up together in Middleton, Larry and I are working on what happened in between. Here's the first debrief, hope you enjoy.


**A/N: The characters of Kim Possible belong solely to the Disney Corporation and the show's creators.**

**This is just a little hobby of mine and I make no cash from it. **

**I am planning a series of some twenty-nine short stories off Guns Knives and Napalm's idea on 'The Truth About Kim and Ron' and….. Huh, what's that CB?.. he changed his name?….Sonnava... OK, OK lemme look it up.**

**What is it? **_**Unheard Flipper**_**? How the heck did he…oh never mind. Got it thanks CB. OK now back to where I was… I have done so with **_**Unheard Flipper's**_** blessing. Before each is released it will be sent to him first for approval. To make sense of this you have to read 'The Truth About Kim and Ron' before going further or this will make **_**no**_** sense at all.**

**As for those of you who notice that there are spelling and grammar errors scattered all over the place with Ron's speech, don't fret, they are there on purpose. The 'Ron' here in these tales is Roman Stopblaski, a Russian Spetsnaz commando portraying him because the real Ron is dead and Kim is well…that would be like telling the whole story before you read it. But leave it at that his trying to speak English is like you or me trying to speak Russian.**

**I also want to thank CajunBear73 as my beta and sometimes brain when I get stuck. (Which can happen quite regularly… LOL!)**

**I hope some humor comes out in this... a sorta edgy humor if you get my drift and action along with some romance. Romance with….who? Now that is a very good question and one that will be answered in time.**

**These episodes will be mostly what happened behind the scenes of the actual episodes from the Kim Possible Show.**

**Now everyone knows that once I start I usually post till I'm done so I plan on posting twenty-nine short stories (twenty-eight are written so I think I'm fairly close here).**

**So I guess we'd better get started.**

**ST-103**

1

Tick Tick Tick Debrief: Fun in D Hall

_D-Hall, Middleton High School:_

"Hey Major Barkein Sir. How eis you today?", the young man, who looked deceptively younger than his actual age, phrased the question knowing it pushed the older man's buttons when he spoke this way at school.

Just seconds earlier the Vice-Principal had excused Big Mike and his minions from a later ending than usual detention session. This was due to the wild car chase down the streets of Middleton, which culminated in a rumble at Bueno Nacho when Barkin had pursued a 'sprung' Kim Possible who slipped out of her detention, and chased after Drakken and Shego and the Explosive Tick she had and the blue mad scientist coveted.

Ron's presence was _recommended_ by the Vice-Principal for his bringing of Rufus to school. Something Barkin said was against standing public health codes in the public school system.

"I told you _never_ to call me that out in the open!", Barkin snapped in a low, harsh voice, after checking his immediate area for eavesdroppers.

Satisfied the area was clear of unauthorized personnel, "Dammit Soppable-ski or whatever it is…at least not here in this place. What's the matter did you drink too much vodka last night ya dumb Ruskie?", he snapped at the young man.

Then heatedly, "Now, since you're having so much trouble with your _orders_, I will tell you again just like I'm talking to a three year old. Since you seem to have so much trouble with the English language, remember it's either **Mister** Barkin or Mr. **B!** Got that?"

While quickly scanning the area to make sure none of the kids reappeared, the larger man towered over the blond, trying to cow the younger man.

"Sir you do not speek Engalish, you speek Amerikan.", the blond clarified with a mocking smile.

"Sir why are we spending extra time in here today, while the others have already been excused?", Kim Possible interrupted the _discussion_ before she developed a throbbing headache…again.

Reaching into her backpack she took out a pack of cigarettes and a Zippo lighter, and lit one up before she took a long drag from one of her not so endearing personal habits.

"Because we almost screwed up that mission that's why Possible. You **know** better than that!", he snapped.

"And put out that cigarette, you are _supposed_ to be the model of a teenaged cheerleader, so I want you squeaky clean. Capisce?"

"Yes Sir I know, but it's a bit difficult getting back into the swing of things here. I mean I wasn't a cheerleader back home, and there's a lot of stuff to learn.", she huffed in frustration. Her eyes narrowing as she stubbed the cancer stick out on the sole of her tennis shoe, silently hoping her surgeon mother would never find out.

"Don't you think I know that Lieutenant? First off Possible, you are _supposed_ to be behaving and reacting to things like a young high school cheerleader would, because _my_ handlers decided that's how you could best acquire more Intel by being more outgoing and popular, so that is how you will act. _However_…taking on Shego in front of all those people at the Bueno Nacho may blow your cover if you keep it up. Remember her mission too.", he explained.

With a fire in her eyes, "That bitch started it Sir.", Kim growled, before she calmed down in the face of her Superior Officer.

Then after thinking a bit, "You know we could add crime fighting on to the hero teen thing so that we can confront the villains easier.", the red head suggested hoping to get another shot at the mint skinned Agent.

"I'll keep it in mind Possible and I will bring it up to my superiors.", he said, then turned to, Now YOU Stoppable or whatever that Ruskie name is….You are supposed to be inept…..A CLOWN! A teenaged dork. That thing with the straw where you siphoned that tick thing off of Possible's face, it was good.", he said to the suddenly smirking blond.

Then he deflated him, "Though I just can't have you acting that mature.", Barkin growled, "It's a good thing that you remembered your act and started jumping around like the joke of a teenaged boy you're supposed to be and let Possible save your bacon."

"But Sir, eet would have blown up Lieutenant Possible and while that would have been a waste of fine human flesh.", a growl coming from his side as he looked sidelong at the source. "Eet would have endangered our mission before ve vere even close to finishing eet.", Roman replied falling back into his accent.

"Hey don't refer to me that way you jerk.", the red head snarled.

'_Why do I even have to put up with this guy? I wouldn't have to even be here if Ron hadn't been killed in that bombing. We'd have been married by now.'_ Then quietly sighing, _'Oh Ron, how I miss you.'_, Kim lamented, remembering how she ended up in this assignment.

"I was jest stating the obvious Lieutenant; you ees quite beautiful. However that ees not the main principle here, if vou were keelled then ve would have to start the mission with another Agent. Though Eh deed enjoy looking into vour eyes.", he smiled making his point.

Kim blushed, "Oh..then, thanks..for saving my bacon Roman."

"Uh Hum.", Barkin sharply interrupted, breaking the moment between teammates.

"Let's get our minds back on track people.", Barkin reminded them, "Now remember…you two are supposed to be teenagers…._Young_ teenagers. Act. Like. Teen. Agers."

Turning to, "Possible act nervous around cute boys, since you are at the top of the 'food chain' here. Be friendly but play a little hard to get. Join clubs and get information."

Then to, "Stoppable… and remember it's Ronald or Ron Stoppable. Try to remember that. You are a goof, a loser. Someone people try to ignore. Since your English sucks at this point, my advice to you is to learn some of your own terms and use them.", Barkin paused at seeing the young man was slightly baffled.

"You **do** remember how to be a loser don't you?", as Barking leaned into the face of his Agent, who seemed quite confused all of a sudden.

Shaking his head, "Sir, Eh ves at the top of my class et de Academy. Eh am not sure vhat dis loser is.", he replied, shaking his head.

"Try this, none of the popular people are supposed to pay any attention to you. Your job is to get information from the bottom rung of this high school. Possible's job is to get information from the top end.", he explained.

"But whe does she get to be vith des smart people and Eh have to stay with the others?", the blond haired young man asked.

"Because **she **fits in; she has no language problems. Not only that, but as you mentioned, Possible is pretty...You on the other hand are more...Ah, how do I say this...Plain."

Turning to the red headed young woman, "Now Lieutenant you had better remember that you are supposed to be somewhere in the vicinity of fifteen years of age. You are not to pursue and bed older men, nor are you to bed the younger ones, at least in this town."

Heading off Kim's impending outrage, "What you do when no one is around and away from anyone who could spill….I just don't give a damn, but, if I hear about you doing the horizontal cha cha...or if you compromise the mission just because you get the itch, I'll court martial your ass for dereliction of duty. Got that Possible?", he directed the young woman.

"Yes Sir. I guess it looks like lots of cold showers for me for a while.", Kim grumped in frustration, ever mindful of just how long of a mission this could be.

Seeing her discomfort Roman chuckled, "See Meess Possible, while _vou_ are restreected at the high end of dis food chain, I, however, can chase and bed whoever I want because that ees what American boys do at the other end of dis chain."

Now smirking, "Vou have to be….oh what is that term….Oh yeass 'Proper'…Eh being at the low end, as dey ses frome da othear side of des tracks, do not have to be. I may enjoy thees assignment after all.", he laughed, quite smug with his perceptions of his part in this mission. Kim's demeanor darkened as he snickered at her.

"Dammit you Ruskie, I don't want your exploits to make it up to my level either! Remember _you_ are _supposed_ to be socially inept, so no women for you.", Barkin laughed as Kim's faced brightened at her partner's predicament.

"Es not fair Colonel, all des other Ameriken boys can get _lucky_, whe can't Eh?", the blond sulked while the red head smirked at him.

"Because I have your record here and in it is how many women are after you for child support. We don't need any of that during this operation, so you two both better cool your heels in that regard.", Barkin directed.

"Eh hev only two cheldrain the oters are not mine, Eh not abandon dem, eh always send money to meh cheldrain.", Roman protested as Kim looked on in surprise.

"Well be that as it may, I don't want to hear any reports of any more little Ruskies running around before this mission is over.", Barkin snapped.

Then glancing at his wall clock, "If there is nothing else to discuss,", looking pointedly at Roman, "meet back here on Friday to discuss an upcoming mission. Dismissed.", he snapped, "Oh and Possible? Take your goofy friend's arm and head out to Bueno Nacho now that they have a temporary roof on the place."

"Tere is an advantage to des after all….E get to eat all ee Tex-Mex that E can. And then all the boys will be jelous of me with Kim Possible on meh arm.", he laughed while she blushed as she grabbed onto the offered arm like the best friend she was supposed to be.

"Oh, and Lieutenant?", Barkin growled after the pair spun away from his desk.

"Yes Sir.", she replied absently, looking back over her shoulder.

"You…might want to change out of your cheerleader uniform before you get too far.", he advised.

"Why Sir?", Kim asked.

"Uh...well let's just say that the Captain got in a lucky shot during your fracas back at Bueno Nacho and…tore your bloomers.", he replied turning almost as red as Kim's hair.

"Huh?" she stopped before looking down.

The blond haired Russian looked down and pulled the hem of the short skirt up. "Eh was right!", he crowed, "Eh have won des bet."

Slapping his hand, "Pervert!" Then doing a double take, "What bet?"

Looking innocently out the window, "Oh noting, Eh vas jes amazed at the sight and vas rambling. Notheeng else, really.", his voice trailing off weakly.

By no means did she accept his explanation, but now more interested in taking care of her clothing malfunction, "Ok Roman, walk me to the locker room.", she snapped, "I can't go out in public showing any of that.".

"Es you would be more popular than ever if vou did Mees Possible.", he grinned risking himself to another beat down in this land of milk and honey.

"Remember what Barkin said. And this is no peep show.", the red head growled thankful that the hem of the cheerleader outfit was long enough to hide certain parts of her anatomy.

"You creep.", Kim whispered, "Best friends aren't supposed to look at their best friends 'privates'...at least in this country."

"But ees thought you wes a Lieutenant?", he whispered back with a chuckle. Then swiveling his head to search the immediate area they were in, "Whe is des private that vou speak of?"

Growling, the red head tried to get the Russian understand what she had just told him, finally giving up in frustration as she reached her locker.

And here's the first chapter of our little foray into an alternate existence of Team Possible. Larry can dream them up, can't he?

Now the disclaimer: Kim Possible and all the other characters recognized above are the property of the Disney Corporation, we're just borrowing them for our and your entertainment. Roman Stopblaski is the creation of Unheard Flipper and has graciously loaned him to us so we can put him through the paces Larry dreamed up… Anything or anyone else is the property of those who own them and we're not making any money off of their inclusion in this tale.

There will be additional chapters following this, but in a haphazard posting cycle. But we'll get them out as soon as they are ready. For sure.


End file.
